If you’ve found your way here, there’s a chance you might be an avid supporter of your LGBTQ+ child or family member. There’s also a chance you’ve only just found out your child’s sexuality or gender identity. This clarification may not be what you expected (or hoped) it might be. You might feel confused, alone, and in need of help!

Wherever you are, whoever you are, Pacific Pride Foundation is here for you. To receive immediate clinical support, please reach out to Counseling at Pacific Pride for affordable, high-quality therapy that uniquely serves the needs of parents, family and partners of LGBTQ+ individuals. Our team can provide teletherapy to any residents in the state of California!

In addition to Counseling at Pacific Pride, you might schedule a consultation call with our Programs Team, to better understand the identity language your child or loved one may be using – and to brainstorm next support steps for your relationships.

Resources

Tips for Caregivers 

LGBTQ+ children often spend months, if not years, discovering and deciphering their identities. Once an LGBTQ+ person opens up, caregivers can feel shock or grief. But telling family and caregivers can be a sign of a person’s love, trust, and need for support.

Keep in mind that not all LGBTQ+ folks desire to make their identity fully public to the whole wide world. Each individual comes out in their own way, sometimes just preferring to invite a loved one to “come in” to know their full self in a quiet, private manner. 

Directly refer LGBTQ+ children (of any age) to LGBTQ+ supportive and affirming environments (and provide them yourself!).

Reaffirm that LGBTQ+ folks are not to blame for negative societal reactions.

Encourage LGBTQ+ folks to speak their truths with little or no adult interruption. Do not correct/patronize. Validate LGBTQ+  concerns.

Strive to learn and use accurate terms (identities, pronouns) for each individual LGBTQ+ child you are interacting with. Don’t apologize profusely for mistakes. Correct yourself and move on.

Offer any inquiries about an LGBTQ+ person’s identity as brief, open-ended, and non-judgmental.

Do your own research. Do not force LGBTQ+ folks to be your LGBTQ+ 101 tutor. Pacific Pride Foundation can support you with this.

Do not diminish LGBTQ+ efforts to find a rich, creative, affirming language of self. It might be a challenge for you to learn new terms, but that learning is for you to do. 🙂

Among LGBTQ+ youth, half (51%) report being verbally harassed at school, compared to 25% among non-LGBTQ+ students.

49% of LGBTQ+ youth say they have an adult in their family to turn to for help, compared to 79% of non-LGBT youth reporting the same. –HRC’s Youth Survey Report, 2012

Nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about suicide, & one-quarter report having made a suicide attempt. -Grossman, A.H. & D’Augelli, A.R., (2007)

LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGBTQ+ peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection. -Family Acceptance Project,™ (2009)