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Families & Caregivers

If you’ve found your way here, there’s a chance you might be an avid supporter of your LGBTQ+ child or family member. There’s also a chance you’ve only just found out your child’s sexuality or gender identity. This clarification may not be what you expected (or hoped) it might be. You might feel confused, alone, and in need of help!

Wherever you are, whoever you are, Pacific Pride Foundation is here for you. To receive immediate clinical support, please reach out to Counseling at Pacific Pride for affordable, high-quality therapy that uniquely serves the needs of parents, family and partners of LGBTQ+ individuals. Our team can provide teletherapy to any residents in the state of California!

In addition to Counseling at Pacific Pride, you might schedule a consultation call with our Programs Team, to better understand the identity language your child or loved one may be using – and to brainstorm next support steps for your relationships.

Resources

Counseling at Pacific Pride Foundation

Pacific Pride Foundation offers affordable therapy both online and in person for LGBTQ+ individuals, individuals living with HIV/AIDS, and their partners, family, and friends.

All counselors who provide services through PPF are Marriage and Family Therapy interns currently enrolled in graduate programs in clinical psychology.

To make an appointment you may email counseling@pacificpridefoundation.org, call (805) 963-3636 ext. 119, or fill out our online inquiry form.

SBTAN

The Santa Barbara Transgender Advocacy Network educates individuals and organizations on best practices for transgender & gender expansive clients, patients, students, congregants and families; creates and develops spaces, actions, and policies that advance the welfare of transgender and diverse gender non-conforming individuals, their families, and allies in California’s Central Coast communities.

Lisa’s Place welcomes people of all gender expressions and is open to ages 18+. Teens are invited to contact us about getting on our youth group list.

The goal of Lisa’s Place is to provide friendship and support to Central Coast trans people through chat circles, activities, outings, and dinners. 

We are meeting in-person and online with both Zoom & Discord. Our in-person meetings are from 5 – 7 PM on Mondays. We meet on Zoom from 7 – 9 PM two Wednesdays each month. On the other Wednesdays our Bodies, Souls, & Spirit group meets from 7:30-9pm in-person. Please register by clicking here or contact us for more details at: megan@sbtan.org.​ 

All sharing in meetings, including choosing to share your video or audio online, is completely optional. 

PFLAG Santa Barbara

Founded in 1973, PFLAG National is the first and largest organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and advocating for LGBTQ+ people and their families and those who love them.

We are Santa Barbara area parents, family, friends, and members of the LGBTQ+ community who celebrate diversity and envision a society that includes and embraces everyone. Leading with love, we provide peer-to-peer support, education, resources, and advocacy for ourselves and our loved ones. We welcome your participation.

Santa Barbara PFLAG meets virtually on the third Monday of the month, 7 pm.

Phone Number: +1 (805) 364-2830

Línea de apoyo en español: +1 (805) 364-2149

pflagsantabarbara@gmail.com

pflagsbenespanol@gmail.com

Safe Alternatives for Treating Youth (SAFTY)

1-888-334-2777

The SAFTY program is a mobile crisis & suicide response service available 24/7 to all Santa Barbara County children and youth up to the age of 21.

  • SAFTY provides quick and accessible service to families.
  • SAFTY is for Crisis Calls Only. For general information inquiries please call (805) 366-4040.

YouthWell

  • Youth & Family Mental Health & Wellness Resource Directory for Santa Barbara County – Find a complete list of organizations providing youth and family mental health and wellness services in Santa Barbara County. Find crisis resources, therapists, treatment programs, parent and youth support groups, and more.
  • Support Groups, Wellness Workshops, and Mental Health Education for teens, parents and caregivers. The Parent Allie group is offered monthly… This group focuses on providing gender affirming and sex positive support, while holding an affirming space for parents and care-givers. The group provides psychoeducational topics about the LGBTQIA+ community and hold open group discussions, plus Q&A, for parents and caregivers who desire an open and empathic group for learning, processing feelings, thoughts and emotions about supporting youth in our community. 
  • All services are free and many are offered in Spanish.

Tips for Caregivers 

LGBTQ+ children often spend months, if not years, discovering and deciphering their identities. Once an LGBTQ+ person opens up, caregivers can feel shock or grief. But telling family and caregivers can be a sign of a person’s love, trust, and need for support.

Keep in mind that not all LGBTQ+ folks desire to make their identity fully public to the whole wide world. Each individual comes out in their own way, sometimes just preferring to invite a loved one to “come in” to know their full self in a quiet, private manner. 

Directly refer LGBTQ+ children (of any age) to LGBTQ+ supportive and affirming environments (and provide them yourself!).

Reaffirm that LGBTQ+ folks are not to blame for negative societal reactions.

Encourage LGBTQ+ folks to speak their truths with little or no adult interruption. Do not correct/patronize. Validate LGBTQ+  concerns.

Strive to learn and use accurate terms (identities, pronouns) for each individual LGBTQ+ child you are interacting with. Don’t apologize profusely for mistakes. Correct yourself and move on.

Offer any inquiries about an LGBTQ+ person’s identity as brief, open-ended, and non-judgmental.

Do your own research. Do not force LGBTQ+ folks to be your LGBTQ+ 101 tutor. Pacific Pride Foundation can support you with this.

Do not diminish LGBTQ+ efforts to find a rich, creative, affirming language of self. It might be a challenge for you to learn new terms, but that learning is for you to do. 🙂

DID YOU KNOW?

Among LGBTQ+ youth, half (51%) report being verbally harassed at school, compared to 25% among non-LGBTQ+ students.

49% of LGBTQ+ youth say they have an adult in their family to turn to for help, compared to 79% of non-LGBT youth reporting the same. –HRC’s Youth Survey Report, 2012

Nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about suicide, & one-quarter report having made a suicide attempt. -Grossman, A.H. & D’Augelli, A.R., (2007)

LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGBTQ+ peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection. -Family Acceptance Project,™ (2009)